TRUMP TOWER

725 5th Ave, New York, NY, 10022

Our tour starts at Trump Tower the site where our future President launched his campaign, assembled his administration, and fired Meatloaf.

CENTRAL PARK

CENTRAL PARK, NY

Donald J. Trump proves that you don't have to be the type of person who would ever go to a park to have opinions on who committed what crimes there.

TRUMP'S CHILDHOOD HOME

85-15 Wareham Place, Jamaica, NY, 11432

Donald Trump grew up here in Jamaica, Queens. This house might not look like much, but it provided Little Donald with many of the presumably horrifying childhood experiences that made him the man he is today.

THE PLAZA HOTEL

768 5th Ave, New York, NY, 10019

For Donald Trump, buying New York's most famous hotel was literally a no-brainer, especially when you see what he paid for it. But as he said at the time: "I haven't purchased a building, I have purchased a masterpiece – the Mona Lisa." And much like Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile, Trump losing $83 million on The Plaza has also stumped scholars.

TRUMP VILLAGE

Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY

C is for Coney Island. And what else does C stand for? Head over to the Trump Village apartments to find out! (If they'll let you in based on your skin color.)

TRUMP WORLD TOWER

845 United Nations Plaza, New York, NY, 10017

Either Trump fathered a love child here or he hired a doorman who would lie about being paid $30,000 to keep quiet about said love child. Watch this video, and decide for yourself!

FAMOUS FAMIGLIA PIZZERIA

1630 Broadway, New York, NY, 10019

This location is where native New Yorker Donald Trump hosted Sarah Palin and ate pizza with [check notes] a knife and fork? A knife and fork then.

180 TRUMP PLACE

180 Trump Place, New York, NY, 10069

Formerly "Trump Place," this condominium’s residents sued to have the commander-in-chief's name removed. It's now called “180 Riverside Boulevard” to honor the achievements of Baron von 180 Riverside Boulevard.

HOWARD STERN STUDIO

40 W 57th St, New York, NY, 10019

Sure, Trump considers the media the "enemy of the people," but that never stopped him from bowing at the heels of the self-proclaimed "King of All Media," Howard Stern. No president has better personified the ethos of "baba booey."

NEW YORK STATE SUPREME COURT

60 Centre St, New York, NY, 10007

Sure, Donald Trump has his name on buildings, but where can you most often see his name in a building? Look no further than the New York State Supreme Courthouse.

TRUMP SOHO

246 Spring St, New York, NY, 10013

The family that preys together stays together! It was here at the Trump Soho that preying on real estate buyers truly became a family activity, with Trump spawn Ivanka and Don Jr. putting the "fun" back in "fraudulent building valuation."

FOX & FRIENDS STUDIO

1211 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY, 10036

It is from this secure midtown location that President Trump gets the vital information he needs to craft tweets about the country he's currently running.